Kelsey Goes to Washington

   I’m going to Washington D.C. next week, doing the tourist thing. It should be a hoot. I haven’t visited there since 1982.
 
   Washington has changed since 1982. I’ve changed too.
 
   Forty-one years ago, when I thought about Washington D.C., my thoughts were simple, straightforward. Our nation’s capital. Cowboy Ronald Reagan. The Smithsonian. Washington monument. Lincoln Memorial. Pledge of Allegiance. And so on. 

   Nowadays, my thoughts about Washington D.C. are complex. Occult/Masonic symbolism. Sleepy Joe Biden. Progressives. Conservatives. Lobbyists. Den of vipers. Big Brother. And so on.
 
   But I’ve decided to make the best of it.

*          *          *

   D.C.’s occult symbolism is especially interesting to me these days. The Illuminati flame on JFK’s grave. All the astrological Virgo (Isis) worship stuff that’s baked into the architecture and street layouts. It fascinates me that Washington D.C., just like Vatican City, has an enormous phallus and womb for everyone to gawk at – the Washington Monument being the penis of Osiris, and the Capitol dome being the left ovary of Isis. Walk like an Egyptian.
 
   What were the founders of this country up to?
 
   I know I’ll probably never figure it out. That’s OK. I love a good mystery.
 
   I plan to take tons of pictures for my X Files. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C.

*          *          *

   It’s easy to get hot and bothered about politics these days. Personally speaking, I’m not a huge fan of the divide and conquer approach. Republicans versus Democrats. Blacks versus Whites. Gays versus Straights. I feel like we’re getting played.
 
    I think the only way to win is to not play the game. I’m stealing that line from an old 80s movie called War Games.
 
   Easier said than done, I realize. Conversations can get heated. It can get confusing.

*          *          *

   You know the famous JFK quote where he says, “My fellow Americans: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”?
 
   I think that’s as confusing a line as I’ve ever heard come out of a U.S. President.
 
   Here you have a hard-core liberal plucking on conservative, patriotic heart strings.
 
   Inspiring at first glance. But if you stop to think about it, JFK got it ass-backwards. The government is supposed to serve us, rather than the other way around.
 
   By the way: I like JFK, despite this fascist slip-up – which I choose to blame on a sneaky speech writer. I like JFK’s brother, Bobby, too. But I suspect I like them for all the wrong reasons.
 
   I think JFK and RFK were spoiled, misogynistic, rich kids who came into power the old-fashioned, Democrat way: via election fraud. That part’s no good.
 
   The part I like is how they ran amok once they got into their respective offices. That’s just plain fun. The same rich-kid entitlement that made them jerks, gave them the balls to take on The Man.
 
   As President, JFK decided to re-direct government spending into NASA rather than warfare, he tried to put the U.S. dollar back on a silver standard, and he told the D.C. establishment to go fuck themselves.
 
   As Attorney General, RFK decided to go after the Mafia – reneging on the very same guys who tinkered with the elections that got his brother (and effectively him) into office.
 
   Of course, it didn’t end well for either of them.
 
   There on JFK’s grave in Washington D.C. is that damned “eternal flame.” I don’t think it’s there as a sign of respect. I think that flame is telling us who pulled the trigger.
 
   Click. Exhibit Z.

*          *         *

   I have some ideas about how to fix things in Washington D.C.
 
   You may think they sound radical. I must be pretty far gone, because, to me, they sound sensible.
 
   (1) Get rid of the Federal Reserve. This so-called “banking” institution that started back in 1913 is no good for any of us. My beef with the Fed is to do with how they tinker with money in ways that hurt everyday people. The Fed continually creates new money out of thin air, willy-nilly. The problem with this is that it causes uncontrollable inflation. Stuff gets more and more expensive as time goes on, forever and ever, and there’s no way for most people to catch up with it. Some folks might chuckle when they hear an old-timer say, “I remember when an ice cream cone cost a nickel.” Not me. I don’t laugh. I cringe. The Fed is out of control, and they need to be shut down. The individuals involved need to be sent home to their respective mansions to ponder their misdeeds while their bogus money dries up. JFK’s silver standard would be a good fix to this. Better still would be a return to gold-backed money.
 
   (2) Put a stop to lobbying, once and for all. Lobbyists – financed by corporations and “special interest groups” – are in the business of buying the votes of Senators and Congressmen (and Presidents) who ought to instead be representing their constituents. The way to stop this in not to declare lobbying illegal. That would never work. The people getting rich off of this mechanism would never vote it down. And even if they did, lobbyists would find a work-around, sure as shooting. The way to stop lobbying is to have elected officials vote by secret ballot. White marbles and black marbles for all votes cast. Lobbying would dry right up, wither on the vine, since there’d be no way for lobbyists to ever be sure that so-and-so cast his or her vote this way or that. While we’re at it, let’s also say that 100% attendance is required of Senators or Congressmen when any bill is up for vote. No more slipping stuff through when everyone’s not there.
 
   (3) Simplified bills with no riders. Most bills (legislative proposals) that get voted into law are thousands of pages long. No one even reads them. They’re packed full of obscure language and “riders” – add-on clauses that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. I’d respectfully suggest that all bills should be no more than one page long. Why should any bill ever be more complicated than that? The one-pagers could also be posted online, say, a week before voting takes place so everyday people could see (and actually understand!) what’s going on. This would give people a chance to call their representatives and express their opinions, to have a real voice. While we’re at it, let’s say that no more than one bill per day can be voted on in the Senate or Congress. Keep it reasonable. Senators and Congressmen are only in session about 150 days each year, anyway – unlike us working stiffs on the 260-day plan.
 
   (4) Zero Federal or State income tax. This country got by just fine for over 100 years without taxing its citizens. Income tax started as a “temporary measure” to help finance the Civil War in 1862. Of course, once that money stream was turned on, the government grew rather fond of it. It’s good to remember that it’s entirely possible to run a sovereign country without income tax revenue. While income tax is being wound down to zero, let’s request full disclosure on how State and Federal governments are spending the money they take from us. A simple pie chart would do just fine. What percentage is being used to fund the military? What percentage is being used to pay down debt? And so on. I get a nice, clear pie chart like this each year that shows how my local tax money is being spent. I know that 60% goes to schools, 6% goes to local road maintenance, 4% goes to Children Services, and such. I don’t always agree with the spending distribution, but it’s sure nice to see. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see the breakdown at the State and Federal levels?
 
   (5) Continue to push for the Convention of States. In a nutshell, this is a call for Conventions under Article V of the U.S. Constitution that allow States (if two-thirds (34) of them agree) to bypass the U.S. Congress in proposing Constitutional Amendments that can impose fiscal and taxation restraints on the federal government, limit its power and jurisdiction, and impose term limits on its officials (including members of Congress as well as non-elected staffers). Nice! Thirty such Conventions have occurred since the U.S. Constitution was ratified in 1788. Coincidentally, one of them occurred in 1982, the year of my last trip to Washington D.C. That Convention was a call for a balanced Federal budget, and it narrowly missed ratification – 32 of the required 34 States went for it. The national debt in 1982 was about 4 trillion dollars. Now it’s 31 trillion. I think one of the best things a Convention of States could accomplish is setting term limits within the federal government. That would keep clowns from becoming career clowns. Another groovy goal would be repealing the 17th Amendment (which was, coincidentally?, ratified back in 1913 – the same year that the Federal Reserve was born). Booting the 17th Amendment would make U.S. Senators appointees of their States again, instead of elected by direct votes in general elections. That way, Senators would be beholden to their respective States’ concerns instead of seeking federally-flavored power and influence inside the Washington D.C. beltway. The framers of the U.S. Constitution set it up that way originally, and I think we’d be wise to stick with it. Sure, our founding fathers had some nutty ideas about building temples to Isis and whatnot, but you’ve got to hand it to them for coming up with a pretty darn good recipe and written framework for a new country, one that nicely throttled any creeps toward tyranny. A few resets might be nice. The original, un-tinkered-with recipe might taste better than we realize.

*          *          *

   I plan to share these ideas during my upcoming Washington D.C. trip with anyone who will listen.
 
   I don’t expect many ears to perk. But you never know.
 
– O.M. Kelsey